Spending Time on Things I Like…

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Spending time on things I like is NOT a waste of time.  Yes, it is in my personal commandments and needs a place of honor there actually!  I need this full sentence written out so that I can remind myself constantly of this fact.  How often do I put off doing things I like because some other need is out there.  In my world I can make these “other needs” seem demanding, critical and something that needs me RIGHT NOW.  What about the stuff that I want to do?  Shouldn’t those things get full attention?  Is that selfish?

The opposite actually is true.  Selfish is being so self absorbed that you start to believe that other people’s things cannot be complete without your intervention or input.  How many times do we invoke ourselves where we shouldn’t be?  Perhaps if I concentrate on the things I really want to do I can better weigh out what I really should be doing.  Sometimes those things will be for others, sometimes they will be just for me but at least they will be measured by reality rather than some elevated ego driven thing that tells me “I must do it all or nothing will get done.”   When I really think about it I can see how absurd that thinking is.

Spending time on things I like gives me clarity on my life purpose, it causes me to have a positive attitude and outlook, it helps me really get into the flow of my own life and what my gifts and talents are.  That makes not only a great use of time, but a NECESSARY use of time. What do you spend time on that is for you?


Spoiling Me & Others is a Privledge & OK!

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One of my commandments is “spoiling me and others is a privilege and OK”.  The last few days we have been visiting my parents to help them out with a few things.  During this trip I have had the opportunity to “spoil” my parents in a few regards.  They have been having computer issues-we went with the intent of fixing their computer but instead after a couple of days of troubleshooting (my husband is a techie), we decided to go shopping instead.  We outfitted them with a new laptop and accessories.  My mom, who is having some mobility issues can now sit in comfort with the laptop and look at pictures of grand kids or emails.  She wept with delight!

Another task was to get some boxes in my dad’s attic.  I say “dad’s attic” rather than “their attic” because it really is a man cave and only my dad ventures there.  BUT it is a dangerous place.  My dad who has some physical challenges himself at this point in life has to balance on the rafters.  YIKES!  So we went and go plywood and floored a major section so he could walk without fear of falling through.  He said “oh my goodness; you shouldn’t have!”  Really?  I don’t think it was optional…

We cooked and drank fine food and beverages.  We celebrated Valentine’s Day with decadent desserts and dessert wine in addition to a great meal.  Overall it was a great few days.  My parents were thrilled and felt very spoiled, grateful and also apologetic over what we had done.  We of course felt no need for apologies; we in fact would not even classify what we did as spoiling.  They have done so much in their life for others and right now they need a little help.  We felt good about being able to do what we did.

It made me wonder at how often I have apologized when someone has done something for me rather than saying thank you.  OR how I tend to justify my actions when I do something nice for me.  BUT the flip side of that is that I do not expect that behavior from others.  Why expect it from me????  Spoiling is in the eye of the receiver I tend to think; those that do the spoiling rarely see it like that.  I loved doing things needed and extravagant over the last few days.  Spoiling them?  I doubt it?  BUT if it is, who cares???? 🙂  Spoiling me and others is a privilege and OK.  A great commandment to follow on a much more regular basis!

How about you?  Is there someone that spoils you or that you spoil?  Do you spoil yourself?  Tell me about it.

Enjoy the Moment

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Looking at #12 of my Current Personal Commandments, “enjoy the moment”, it can actually be thought of as “part 2” of “Don’t Wait for Perfect”. For me, they go hand in hand.  Waiting for perfect causes me to want more, to want something that I have yet to attain, to focus on what I don’t have rather than what I do have.  “Enjoying the moment” is a way that I can, even in chaos, take a breathe and assess what is working right for me in this very moment.  I have a tendency to get caught up in what needs to be done, what I am not getting done, etc.  AND actually, in almost all circumstances, I have so much cause to enjoy my very present situation and life.  Focus on now, focus on what I am doing now, not in what I will be doing in 5 minutes, 1 week, a month or in retirement is the very essence for me to learn to live in joy, gratitude and serenity.  Taking a moment to breath in the goodness and breath out the anxiousness truly helps me to enjoy what I have right in front of me that I so often overlook.  It also helps me in striving for another personal commandment “one thing at a time”– but that is another blog for another day.

What about you?   Do you live in the here and now or are you waiting for perfect to enjoy? How do you shift to enjoying the moment?

Don’t Wait for Perfect

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“Don’t wait for perfect” is one of my commandments.  At first blush you might think that I do things 1/2 way or leave a lot undone but call it done.   Actually it is just the opposite.  Many times I do not put closure on something or move onto the next thing unless it is “perfect.”.  One of my friends shared a phrase “better done than perfect” with me years ago and at first I was really put off by it; I actually found it somewhat funny.  I mean I did not want to be someone to say “well at least it’s done; sorry that it fell apart”…

BUT as I examine my life and what my comfort zones are, I find that many times, waiting for something to be perfect is an excuse, crutch, explanation and also a disillusioning way of thinking.  It actually results in me living in the future all the time rather than in the present.  I can say/think things like “when this happens, then I will do this” or “when you do this  I will do that” or “when this is done and PERFECT, then I will enjoy life and relax”…  I have said all of these things and more in my life.  Waiting for things to be done before you enjoy your life or appreciate what you have in this moment is a way of robbing yourself over and over.  Rather, appreciate the now, bring closure when you can in the now, and allow yourself to come back to something to improve it later–but don’t put life on hold waiting for its perfect completion.

Live now and enjoy–don’t wait for perfect.