Being Right is Overrated

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I used to think that being right was of the utmost importance.  That was the goal; that was the golden ring.  I spent so much energy trying to figure out how to get there, how to get you to say “you are right”, and how to be validated that my way of thinking was not only right but the only way of thinking.  What a foolish waste of time and energy.

All of us have a contribution to make, an opinion that deserves to be heard, a take on things that is uniquely ours; in this vast world I have come to realize and appreciate so much the fact that there is not one right way and one wrong way of doing things in each circumstance.  Our choices are made up of our thoughts, feelings, experiences, knowledge and so much more.  How can I always know what is best for you when I don’t even always know what is best for ME?

I am in a continual practice of learning to listen, learning to respect others and letting go of my own “rightness.”.  I have found that I learn so much more when I listen and try to learn from you, rather than figuring out how I can get you to learn from me. Many times, what I thought was right going into a situation turns out to not be so.  Opening up for another view allows me to be open to infinite possibilities.

So….do you think I am right??? 🙂

Connecting with people; REALLY connecting

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I don’t know about you, but I have come to rely way too much on email, Facebook, texting, etc to connect with people.  Goal #3 is “relationships, relationships, relationships” and in 2011 I do NOT want that to mean the old way of connecting.  I need a paradigm shakeup on this piece of my life too!  This week I went to lunch with 2 dear friends that I NEVER sat down to eat with in all of 2010!  I am ashamed to admit that but the truth is they are not the only ones that I have not really connected with or have not connected with enough.  I have vowed to these 2 friends that in February we would do this again and I would commit to coordinating it.  Today I am lunching with another good friend that I too often let time pass and then send a quick email or message to.  I am looking forward to seeing her beautiful face today and connecting.

Another “tool” I seem to forget about is the telephone.  The what??? The telephone??? Oh yeah, the thing I use to text and email with …. Today at 3 I am CALLING a friend and TALKING to her rather than exchanging hellos via cyperspace.

This goal ties into one of my commandments of “listen”.  For me to really listen I need to HEAR your voice and it is such a bonus to SEE your face also.  Text can get misconstrued.  Yesterday while IM’ing my husband I realized a comment I made sounded “ugly.”  It wasn’t meant to and my tone in my head did not sound that way, but when I read it I thought “wow you sounded nasty there!”.

For me in 2011, relationships and listening go hand in hand.  So if you haven’t heard my voice in a while, watch out because your phone may just be ringing!