Relationships, relationships, relationships

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We have been counting down our last days here and they are full of activity!  Packing, cleaning, more packing, etc.  Many of you have done this so you know exactly how busy it can be. I have however attempted to take time out for friends and family.  It is impossible to see everyone that you wish to see before departing.  Luckily with technology we can all still stay in touch, but I find myself desperate to see people right now.  It makes me realize how I take for granted so often the great relationships that I have in my life.  I tend to get busy and think next week, next month, etc. But right now I don’t have next week or next month.  Sure I will be back to visit, but I won’t be living here so there is a finality to so much of this here.

I am so happy for the time I have gotten to spend with friends–the lunches, coffees. etc.  I regret however that I have not paid more attention to this area of my life.  I have “improved” since making the relationship aspect be a part of the commandments for this year, but I am seeing how wide of a gap there is between where I am and where I want to be on this one.  I am hoping that a lesson learned here is a “do not procrastinate” lesson!  I am moving– no one is dying or has died, but things do happen and change.  Every day I need to make sure that I have connected with someone that is meaningful to me and my life.  I hope to take this lesson with me and to this location/life style paradigm shift and that I will wholeheartedly embrace the people that are currently present in my life.  That means friends here, that means new friends that I am not aware of yet.

How do you make time for relationships in your life?  Do you ever feel that you hit the mark on this one???

Tired!

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While focusing on relationships in order to honor one of my commandments “relationships override projects and to do lists” I am realizing that this is tiresome (although very fulfilling) work!  Emotion is not so present when looking at pen and paper and crossing off things.  That is my default, it is easy and it is for the most part without emotion.  I create the list, set the tone for how to tackle it and whatever emotion is felt, is that which I have associated with it.

When being more relationship focused it is impossible to take the human emotion thing out of it.  Whether I am focusing on myself and how I am feeling and being or whether it be someone else, it takes effort to put these emotions into their rightful place and then to respect and care for them.

I have had many occasions lately where the “to do’s” were not about me or my stuff but about others.  It has been a wonderful month of giving back, interacting and doing for others.  I did however realize yesterday that I am tired.  I also realize that being tired and acknowledging that feeling is OK; as a matter of fact it is more than OK, it is necessary!  Relationships bring up all kinds of things–good, bad, challenging, comforting, etc. and this array of feelings can be taxing on oneself especially if you are trying to be deliberate in noticing the feelings, experiencing the reaction to them and learning from them.

This weekend, will be about me, my house, my husband, my stuff.  Some list stuff will be in there as I circle the wagons on some things. But I think that the practice of being aware of what is happening emotionally and relationally these past several weeks will serve me well.  I hope to take from this weekend, not just checking off some things, but also take note of how I am feeling during the process.  I hope that I can be as aware of that and of my feelings as I have tried to do for others lately.

I think I am learning… I hope you can relate!  Enjoy your day.

Spoiling Me & Others is a Privledge & OK!

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One of my commandments is “spoiling me and others is a privilege and OK”.  The last few days we have been visiting my parents to help them out with a few things.  During this trip I have had the opportunity to “spoil” my parents in a few regards.  They have been having computer issues-we went with the intent of fixing their computer but instead after a couple of days of troubleshooting (my husband is a techie), we decided to go shopping instead.  We outfitted them with a new laptop and accessories.  My mom, who is having some mobility issues can now sit in comfort with the laptop and look at pictures of grand kids or emails.  She wept with delight!

Another task was to get some boxes in my dad’s attic.  I say “dad’s attic” rather than “their attic” because it really is a man cave and only my dad ventures there.  BUT it is a dangerous place.  My dad who has some physical challenges himself at this point in life has to balance on the rafters.  YIKES!  So we went and go plywood and floored a major section so he could walk without fear of falling through.  He said “oh my goodness; you shouldn’t have!”  Really?  I don’t think it was optional…

We cooked and drank fine food and beverages.  We celebrated Valentine’s Day with decadent desserts and dessert wine in addition to a great meal.  Overall it was a great few days.  My parents were thrilled and felt very spoiled, grateful and also apologetic over what we had done.  We of course felt no need for apologies; we in fact would not even classify what we did as spoiling.  They have done so much in their life for others and right now they need a little help.  We felt good about being able to do what we did.

It made me wonder at how often I have apologized when someone has done something for me rather than saying thank you.  OR how I tend to justify my actions when I do something nice for me.  BUT the flip side of that is that I do not expect that behavior from others.  Why expect it from me????  Spoiling is in the eye of the receiver I tend to think; those that do the spoiling rarely see it like that.  I loved doing things needed and extravagant over the last few days.  Spoiling them?  I doubt it?  BUT if it is, who cares???? 🙂  Spoiling me and others is a privilege and OK.  A great commandment to follow on a much more regular basis!

How about you?  Is there someone that spoils you or that you spoil?  Do you spoil yourself?  Tell me about it.