Relationships, relationships, relationships

We have been counting down our last days here and they are full of activity!  Packing, cleaning, more packing, etc.  Many of you have done this so you know exactly how busy it can be. I have however attempted to take time out for friends and family.  It is impossible to see everyone that you wish to see before departing.  Luckily with technology we can all still stay in touch, but I find myself desperate to see people right now.  It makes me realize how I take for granted so often the great relationships that I have in my life.  I tend to get busy and think next week, next month, etc. But right now I don’t have next week or next month.  Sure I will be back to visit, but I won’t be living here so there is a finality to so much of this here.

I am so happy for the time I have gotten to spend with friends–the lunches, coffees. etc.  I regret however that I have not paid more attention to this area of my life.  I have “improved” since making the relationship aspect be a part of the commandments for this year, but I am seeing how wide of a gap there is between where I am and where I want to be on this one.  I am hoping that a lesson learned here is a “do not procrastinate” lesson!  I am moving– no one is dying or has died, but things do happen and change.  Every day I need to make sure that I have connected with someone that is meaningful to me and my life.  I hope to take this lesson with me and to this location/life style paradigm shift and that I will wholeheartedly embrace the people that are currently present in my life.  That means friends here, that means new friends that I am not aware of yet.

How do you make time for relationships in your life?  Do you ever feel that you hit the mark on this one???

Be Debbie; Be Me

The personal commandment that I have listed first is “Be Debbie”.   I cannot take credit for coming up with this commandment; I got the idea from Gretchen Rubin and” The Happiness Project”.  I love this book and website alot.  And although each person needs to discover their own commandments I love the idea of being true to oneself as an important commandment.  I will admit however when I read this book the first time, a couple of years ago, I did not have a concept of really “being Debbie”.  BUT I did feel it was a concept that I needed to embrace, hence it made the “list.”

Over the last couple of weeks I have been faced with a few things that have really made me look at this commandment and ask myself “if I am just Debbie right now, what is the right thing to do?”.  I get caught up in other people’s “stuff”, I sometimes give way too much on the things that I am committed to (like work and tasks) and so, so often do not give enough time and energy to my passions.  So I found myself asking myself “if this situation that I am in is NOT my passion then why am I acting as if it is in all of my actions?”.  Great question to confront yourself with!  The follow up question then is “what is my passion and what does “being Debbie” mean?”

Passions and Dreams:

• Anything food!
• Cooking
• Dog treat biz
• Fresh food from the CSA
• Cooking for others
• Gardening
• Having a restaurant or a bed and breakfast
• Cookbooks
• Magazines with food
• Baking treats for our business
• Dreaming of commercial kitchen for the treats
• ETC…………….

Do you see any common threads?  I do!  I love anything having to do with food and I am definitely an entrepreneur. First paradigm shift then is– my day job is going to be just that–my day job.  I will do it really well and add value to those around me.  I will make money while doing it. BUT I will not act as if it is my passion and think non stop about it, work odd hours and feel guilty for taking a break.

Second paradigm shift–start acting as if my passion really is my passion and it is more than OK to expend energy here!  IT is MORE than OK as a matter of fact.  To “Be Debbie” I MUST shift my energy to this!

Action-I enrolled in culinary school! AND I spent lots of time this week acting and dreaming and living my passion out.

Result: I feel energized, happy and focused.

How about you?  Have you ever realized that where you are putting your energy is simply sucking the energy OUT OF YOU rather than invigorating you?  What did you do to shift the flow?

Relationship Focused Lent

Lots of talk on this first day of Lent, “what are you giving up?” I think for some the sacrifice of giving up something you love during Lent in order to cause you to be more introspective is good.  I think however the true meaning in Lent and in these days of reflection are to get closer to God and clearer on what it is to be in His will.  I have done many different types of things for Lent.  This year I have decided to link my Lenten journey into my other journey that I am on this year of shifting my paradigm.

The relationship aspect of this shift is one of my most challenging.  So, for Lent I have committed to reaching out to someone each day.  It cannot be on Facebook or Instant Message or in email.  It must be CONVERSATION–either a phone call or coffee or lunch or something like that.  There are so many people that I mean to call or mean to see but it seems that in my list driven world, that just gets pushed to the bottom all to often.  I have a list of people that I want to call or see during Lent and I am excited about connecting.  BUT I also know that on some days this will be a challenge.  So my “give up” for Lent will be to give up looking at “people stuff” as an interruption to my day, my task list, the current “roll” that I am on.

I am in great hopes that this will be a warm and wonderful time of connecting with folks and a time of renewed friendships and relationships.  I am also in great hope that I will continue this practice of reaching out long after Lent is over.  I am in great hopes that my heart will be changed through this journey and I will really come into synch with #3 resolution of “relationships, relationships, relationships.”

What about you?  Do you give up something for Lent? Do you do something additional in your life like volunteer or focus on something you would like to change or improve upon? I will keep you posted on my journey; can you keep me posted on yours?

Lesson Learned

On my life long journey of learning, loving and living, things continually evolve in the realm of life lessons.  My life lessons are of course different than yours and in sharing our lessons with one another we can each learn and grow.  I hope that you will read mine and be inspired by one or two and that you in turn will share yours with me.  Some of my lessons learned in 2010 are:

• Challenges can mean the universe is asking me if I am serious or not about a commitment that I have made
• Making time for my passion business is a good thing
• I can do things for pleasure and fun even if no one else understands them
• Play is having fun with out any justification; simply to enjoy
• I get more done when I do NOT multitask
• Eating real is better than eating fake
• Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I should
• Put my oxygen mask on before yours
• Listen to my essential self
• Meditation for even 12 minutes increases brain function
• Calendaring personal things is a good thing to do
• Balance is an active practice that takes continual adjustments and tweaks
• Focus on the journey, not just the destination
• Focus on what I want NOT on what I do not want
• My inner critic steals the joy; listen to my inner wisdom instead
• Ask myself “how do I feel?” and “what do I need”
• Don’t leave the back door open on things
• Closure is about being ok with where things are right now rather than simply having them checked off
• Being relationship focused rather than task focused feels GOOD!

Please share your lessons with me so I can ponder on those things as well.  Have a great Friday!